Parenting 101

I'm going to tell a story that you might not expect from an old nail-bender like myself. I hope you will take a minute to read it because it was a life changer for me and it could help you too.

I attended an education seminar several years ago, weird right? Anyway, my wife and I went because we had decided to home-school our kids and we wanted to know all the best methods and tools available to help us do a great job.

Little did we know that the presenter had a dirty trick up his sleeve. He didn't teach us one thing to do to teach our kids. He just said over and over again, "if you want to fix your kid, fix yourself." He gave many examples, for instance, if your kid wasn't interested in reading, he said that I as a father should start reading books where my child could see me, and soon my child would want to read. If he didn't like math, then I should do math. Practice their music? You guessed it, play music on your favorite instrument.

I was a bit incredulous, this sounded like a lot of work. After two days of having this pounded into me, I thought, okay I'll give it a try. I went home and began the experiment. I started reading some tough books and I learned to pluck a few chords on a guitar (I am still struggling with the math thing). I put consistent effort into this and you know what? It worked! I noticed that as I put effort into self-improvement, my kids just naturally put more effort into their studies. There is an old saying that says we must practice what we preach. If our children see us working and struggling to understand a concept, they won't bat an eye when they face a challenge, because they know that it just takes some work, they saw their parent do it.

If you want your kids to be great, you need to be great first. This is one secret weapon of great parenting that we all need in our quiver. So just remember, if you've got problems in your home, one of the first places you ought to look is at yourself. If you start there, most of the problems will iron themselves out.

The Tempered Soul

Have you ever experienced that moment when you think that you are all that? You're on top of life, well adjusted, going places and then you have an experience that shows you where you really are?

I was flying high today, things had gone pretty well and then I went to visit a friend. This friend has been having some struggles, and I wanted to give her some words of faith and comfort. So, in all my shining wonder I went to spout my wisdom to her. I took a message of faith that I thought might help in her situation and began to share it when she began to speak.

She related experiences from her life which were horrific and beyond anything that I have ever experienced, then she related how each of those trials had served to increase her faith. I began to see that I have much to learn, which she, and others like her, who have been through the grist mill of life, could teach me if I were to come down off my high and mighty place to listen.

There is a strength which comes from test and trial. A resoluteness that seems to say, whatever comes, all will be well.

It is never easy to admit to yourself that you have been seeing yourself in a greater light than actually shines. Though the experience, if allowed to sink in, opens up an honest look at your inner self. You begin to ask important questions, such as, how would I do in such a test? Would I grow strong or wither under the pressure? Can wisdom be gained by learning from others or do we only learn true wisdom from the trials? What do you think?

Dreamers

There is an old saying out there that tells us that we are what we eat. If this is true then I am made mostly of sugar and Colby-Jack cheese. In reality, I believe that which shapes us, in ways that matter, has more to do with our thoughts than what we eat. Early in my marriage I had an experience that brought this to light. This isn't one of those life-defining moments but one which clearly shows the power of concentrated thought.

Valerie, my lovely wife, and I were building our first home and we had designed a large deck off our master bedroom. As we were building it we thought how cool it would be if we had a hot tub to sit on that deck. We talked about how cool it would be to sit out there on a cold night and watch the stars. Now, you must realize that any extra money we had was going into building materials for home and a hot tub did not fit into our budget. Regardless, we kept thinking about it and imagining how awesome it would be to have one.

We kept on with our building project and out of the blue a neighbor came by our home one day and asked if we wanted a hot tub. He was moving and would take a little work in trade for the tub. We agreed to the deal and we owned a great hot tub. This must have just been a coincidence, you may be telling yourself. As this experience is one of many, I now believe it was the result of focused thought.

I recently re-read "As A Man Thinketh" by James Allen in which the author writes that "as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." In this short book Mr. Allen shows the effect of our thoughts on our character, our circumstances, our health and our achievements. "Dreamers are the saviors of the world" and "dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become" are two of my favorite quote from this book. If we dare to dream them we will dare to try and that is what will make all the difference in our lives. If we wallow in self pity, or bemoan our circumstances, nothing will change.

Christ taught that as we sow so shall we reap. With our thoughts we sow the fields of our lives. We should expect the harvest of the thoughts we have sown. So let's lift our thoughts to a higher level and we will arrive at a higher place.