"TRADITION"

Are your culture or traditions making you less than you could be? I watched a movie this week that really brings this question to light. The movie is "The Help". It is set in Jackson, Mississippi in the 1960's at the beginnings of the unrest there caused by the civil rights movement. The story is told from the perspective of the black housekeepers who worked in the homes of the white people in the city. Many of these maids had worked for the same families for two generations, caring for the children as well as their parents.

It was enlightening to see how the attitudes from one generation carried on to the next. In Mississippi if you were white, according to tradition, a black person was less than you, almost as if they were a different species. Because of that supposed difference, those people were to be treated differently, as a lesser entity.

Of course, movies tend to generalize and sensationalize situations, but I could see myself there, acting in my "proper" role. We may not be dealing with racial issues in our personal circumstances, but we are dealing with situations in which culture or family norms prescribe how we are to act in these situations.

The difficult part of this is that when one is in a situation it is very difficult to see a way to be different. We have grown up with the expectation of how we are to act or what attitudes we will carry toward others. These cultural "norms" will often dictate to us how much education we should get, what church we will go to, who we marry and what type of work we will do. When one decides to change, our friends and family will often be our strongest deterrents to making that change, because the fear of difference is a strong motivator.

I would ask the question, what in our culture or traditions is holding us back? We need to educate ourselves and then take a close look at what we take for granted. Do my actions reflect a conscious decision or am I doing this thing because that is how it has always been done? I am not saying we need to question our faith in God or some other basic beliefs we may have. But if we only believe these things because our parents did, then we should study them out for ourselves and come to our own decisions. At this point, then one can decide if a belief or action is truly a good one or if it is being done because that is how it has always been done.

I heard a story once from a family friend in which a young married woman was preparing a ham for dinner. She took the ham out of the refrigerator, cut one end off, placed it in a pan and then baked it. Her husband asked her why she cut the end off the ham. She replied that that was how her mother always did it, so that was how she was going to do it. When the mother was asked the reason for this she replied that her roasting pan was too small for the ham, so she always had to cut them off. Are we carrying on traditions that perhaps don't need to be? Let's take a look around and really analyze what we do, and what we could change to make our world better.